Sustaining During Challenging Times
There is a lot of uncertainty right now regarding the changes we’re seeing in the political landscape. The news and social media are calling our attention to all kinds of fear and outrage. It can be really easy to fall into dread and helplessness. Our nervous systems respond to threats by activating our sympathetic response - fight/flight. Fight/flight prepares our body to flee or fight a threat. When there isn’t an active thing to do, when the threat comes from our doomscrolling, we don’t have a way to discharge that energy.
Our bodies are not meant to survive constantly in our fight/flight response. If we’re in constant stress, our freeze response, which is the other side of the parasympathetic nervous system, will take over. This is a whole spectrum of responses, from being completely frozen (literally unable to move) to going through our days feeling completely numb. When we’re solely focused on stress, we can oscillate between the frozen state and the fight/flight response. This is not only really taxing on our body, but it is also not a life we feel good about living.
I want us to have a life worth living, not just surviving. In order to do that, we need to find some sense of peace/calm/pleasure. This is not to be flippant about reality, but to widen our focus on what the world is, not solely focusing on the fear. To this end, I have two things to suggest we add to our lives: savoring the good and finding meaning.
Savoring is a strategy by Deb Dana that is meant to highlight the good parts of our lives. This can be noticing accomplishments, beauty, enjoyment, and positive social interactions. It can do a great deal for our nervous system to notice the little pieces of beauty in our world that we often overlook - like how the light bounces off our walls or the flowers that are starting to bloom around us. Creating time to move our bodies, engage in activities we enjoy, meet with the special people in our lives. To take these moments in and not to dismiss them, is to savor them. To notice what makes us smile, how we feel loved, and how we love. It may feel a bit silly, but this is how we start to create a bit of balance in our lives. This is how we avoid burnout. Again, it doesn’t mean avoiding anything that makes you feel bad, it means allowing to see the good, too. You can learn more about savoring in this video by Deb Dana.
As for finding meaning, this helps to stave off our feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. One way to find meaning is to look at our values and identify what is most important to us. This can help guide us when we’re deciding how we want to spend our time and energy. Is there something you can do to help when you look at the things you see in the news or on social media? Even on a small scale, in your community. Your values can help guide you toward what actions to take to help you find meaning. If you value family, could you call a family member? If you value kindness, could you smile at a stranger or bring food to a friend who has a lot on their plate? These little actions add up, I promise.
Also, a good read for thinking through this balance is Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Frankl writes about his time in a concentration camp and how he was able to find meaning as a way to survive in horrific conditions where hopelessness makes more sense. I do want to emphasize that this is a hard book to read and is meant as a way of finding hope in extremely dark times, so I only encourage you to read this if it feels helpful.
As always, take what is helpful and leave the rest. I hope you have the week you need.
