Grief During the Holidays
The holidays can be a strong reminder of our grief. We often use holidays to surround ourselves with our loved ones, so the holidays can be a cue for us to think of our loved ones. We may have traditions that are so tied into our memories with our loved ones or just memories related to sharing this time with them. It is especially heightened by this new wave of the pandemic that may have stopped some folks from being able to celebrate with you, yet again. It is difficult when we are told how much holidays are supposed to be filled with cheer and joy, but we are capable of experiencing so much more than that and you are not alone in noticing the other parts of your feelings, as well.
It is important to remind yourself that just because you are experiencing grief, it doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing. We grieve as much as we love, which means our experience of grief may last a lifetime, although it will vary in intensity. If you find yourself really sitting in your grief, instead of trying to push it away, what else could you do with it? Some ideas might be to talk to other people who loved your person, as well. We can all get stuck in a feeling of not wanting to bring people down, but sharing memories of our loved ones may be just what we need. We can also create new traditions, such as lighting a candle for our loved ones or making their favorite meal (see this article for more wonderful examples: https://www.vitas.com/family-and-caregiver-support/grief-and-bereavement/holidays-and-grief/coping-with-grief-during-the-holidays).
I just want to remind you that if you notice sadness or grief come up for you this holiday season, it doesn't mean something is wrong or that you've taken a step back in your healing process. It just means that you are experiencing a different expression of love. So, what would it be like to make some space for this feeling? What can you do to honor your passed loved ones this holiday season? What new traditions can you make?
As always, take what is helpful and leave the rest. I hope you have the week you need.
